Dingers

That bomb in the bathroom is not not the only one i am gonna release today... gonna be some bombs on the baseball field as well.... 602... A-Rod is now an afterthought

Don't even mind

Yeah so what that the toilet seat is very warm I don't care that some one just let a bomb go in this stall I am now two up on that fool with no signs of slowing down... 601

The Come Back Kid

I have reached the Mountain... SUCK IT A-ROD.... I was ten down... you had numerous chances, but Da Mayor is the winner... you know what I will give you to the end of the game your playing currently, if you do it tonight it will be a tie, if not Da Mayor is Mr. 600 and will go down in history as the best come back ever. 600, a feeling Gay-Rod cant explain!

All tied up

What else is there left to say but Gay-Rod is folding under pressure...599 the real question reporters now should be asking is not when will one of the biggest scum bags in pro sports history reach the 600 milestone but when will the greatest dumper in the history of the universe and the first ever mayor of dump town/ registered sex symbol reach the mountain that is 600... The answer is later this afternoon maybe??? If not then tomorrow morning... If it is tomorrow morning then u got one more chance pal

Long gone

One of the longest straight log of crap I ever seen in a toilet... This makes 598... I don't think I am done quite yet... I will be crowned mr. 600 cuz I am da mayor and I'm AWESOME!!!

I feel like cheat-rod

Had to wait through a two hour call to get number 597 out, I felt like that chump Alex waiting and waiting to finally do it...

Footsteps

Alex I k ow u hear the footsteps I am getting closer and closer... U couldn't even do it against a rookie last night and here I sit on my throne dropping off a monumental number 596... If you don't do it tonight u can kiss your chances of beating me good bye.. Cuz I will deftly be reaching 600 tomorrow

A common theme

Yeah I am calling out this punk... Show me what u got tonight buddy... 595 so close I can smell(no pun attended) make me eat my words tomorrow morning... I dare ya!

Three in one game

It's getting really interesting here on the race for 600... The pressure has to be on Gay-Rod at this point because since last night and right now I have set down three "homerun" like dumps to bring my total to 594

Da mayor vs A-Roid

It is on... The race to 600.. Da mayor looking for a big comeback as he sits at 591, this will go down in history as the biggest come back ever!!! Don't miss a second of it

Performance enhancing

None of that needed here just all natural dumps being taken... So Andre Dawson can rest assure that this 590 is legit unlike some one else we know who is going for a 600 milestone

Dump Central

Thinking about building a railroad station in DumpTown called Dump Central.. "take the train to Dump Central, plop out a dump, wipe and then hop back on Dump Central Trains" 587, 588 and 589

Rough Morning

Had a rough morning after only going once yesterday... 3 times before 2 pm today, I see an average day tomorrow, staying light on the beers today. 583, 584, 585, 586

Of course

I have two dumps here 581 & 582 but I wanna talk about 581 when I left my iPod on my desk so all I had to do was stare at the wall and of course it was a nice long dump... It was brutal... I started humming to my self

Return of the liquid

Beer don't worry I would never give u up even though u make shots so gross so smelly and my burn for days... I love u beer and I love trip number 580

Headphones

Wearing headphones in the stall watching some old wrestling videos on you tube... How come it took me 579 dumps to put two of my favorite things together...

Normalcy or busyness?

Two dumps that weren't all that gross could the tide be turning? 577 & 578

I just want a solid

A solid shit that is... Been liquid and really soft for days now... No end in sight I am afraid... Might need to call the Oswego health center again for advice... 576

Left and right

Still trying to get my body back normal... I think I got all of last Fridays stuff out and am working on Saturdays crazyness... Hopefully I can get back to normal by Friday.. But I doubt it... 3 for ya 573 574 & 575

Hot dog with my pants down

Only in Chicago... 572

Dropping bombs

Not Dave bombs but crap bombs... 571

Beer shits

What else do I say... 15 trips since I last spoke... This one smells horrible as I have a lot of food and beer to pass... 570

Hello is Indiana jones there?

No mother fucker Indiana Jones ain't here... He ain't real mother fucker.... Haha 555 (get it?)

Back to back calm days in dtown

Is just what the doctor ordered... Side note I will be becoming a sex symbol in 39 states tomorrow as I get registered in Illinois... 554

Actually

These past couple of days is prolly nothing compared to what I am going to experience next week... Good luck mayor! 553

Finally

Finally the poop out break of July has subsided... My ass almost feels normal again... Almost! 552

Gold plated diapers

Only in dtown will babies be shitting in gold cuz we value dump here in d town... 551

Wiping hurts

So much dumping so much wiping it's starting to be really painful... And u guys thought the life of da mayor was an easy one... Try go through this on a weekly basis.. I dare ya!!! 550

The big papi

I just Nick named number 549 the big papi in honor of the 2010 home run derby winner... I know David is proud

Posion ivy?

I may or may not have posion ivy which could make my shits this week ten times more painful, if the p ivy finds it's way into my butthole... Any way a late night and early morning poop give me 547 & 548

Deep dish and beer

I don't think my ass is ready for Chicago... I am going to be consuming a lot of substances that advance my pooping... Look out Illinois u haven't seen anything like da mayor!!! 546

Burnt popcorn

Why does the men's room smell like burnt popcorn?? Is there a secret microwave in here that I don't know about... Can't be!!! 545

No need for details

544, it's a Monday what more do u really need to know

Just like bill

I wanna be like Bill Brasky and get my poop to be considered currency in a country... Brasky had Argentina maybe I can have poop considered currency in Peru or Oman???? 543

Furious dumping

I hate sweating while dumping when I am at work cuz people see me coming from the Bathroom all sweaty and frazzled they know and say to them selves " there's Dan taking another furious and gruesome dump" 542

Pre and Post

Before and after the mets took care of business against Larry and the braves i took blue shits cuz of the blueberries i have ate in the past two nights 540 and 541

Just pooped

ANd it WAS GLORIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!! 539

This time next week

I will be dumping in Chicago... But how many dumps will i be at??? Stayed tuned as the adventures of da mayor continue!!!!! 538

Got stuck

My asshole just made a sound I never heard it make before... It sounded like a his coming to a stop but it was actually air coming out of me while number 537 was stuck up in my bum.. I got it out though

Came

Do u think any one has released cum and dumped at the exact same time.. The cum shot out at that exact instant the shit left ur asshole.. Would be some good independent research... 536

That fuck head

I swear to god that asshole janitor is back this week after being gone for a while and of course every time I am in here he comes banging around trying to get into my stall... God I hate this mother fucker... 535

The hall way chat

Walking in the hall way towards the bathroom needing dump and then some one stops to talk to u... Not cool, it's happened to us all male or female and let's just say thank god 534 stayed in as long as it did

Ladies like ???

So I got 532 & 533 here but I wanna talk about my dream last night... Well part of it... So I was taking a dump in what I was positive was the men's room when all of a sudden chicks starting walking in and I apparently knew them but when I awoke I didn't know who they where... Any way I was dumping and these girls were going into wash there hands but for some strange reason the sink was up really hi and u could see into the stall I was dumping in... Now u would think this would bother most girls but nope... They either just chatted normally with me or was turned on/ excited to see me dumping.. Now people say dreams some time foreshadow the future if this is true and the females start getting excited about da mayors trips... We are in serious business

531

Taking a dump

Wishing

Number 530, and I wish it was 530 already... Not in the working mood today!

Butt cheeks

Man it is a hot ass day today... The stalls in dtown are not much better as my buttcheeks are sticking to the toilet... Deftly going to have peel my self off the toilet after 529

The multiple posts continue

And on and on the D-Town train rolls, with another 3 dumps.. 2 last night and one this morning. So even though no work yesterday it was still a typical Monday fill of disgusting and devastating trips to every one's favorite town. 526, 527 & 528

Another 4

Been all around the State of NY dumping the past couple of days... In SP, in Woodlawn, in the Dale!! 522-525

Beer is awesome!

Four explosions

beer subway and tacos.. Need I say more about 518 519 520 & 521

They call this d town for a reason

....because it is short for dump town.... Duh!!!! 517




FYI 85 trips in the month of June not bad but could be better

No beer

No beer last night.. No dump unil 10 45... Hmmm... 516

Low battery

Not sure how this dump is gonna turn out cuz I get this post in quickly as the iPod is dieing... 515

Yesterday

June 29, 2010 was one of the worst days in dump town history not only did I only go one time yesterday but that one time was in the god damn middle stall... Terrible and I promise u it will never happen again... I am moving on and have two dumps already today 513 & 514 thank you for being dumps I can be proud of

My own worst enemey

I have become the person I hate... Had to use the middle stall since both others were used.. If I didn't have to go really bad I would have waited... Damn u number 512

More free ham

Yep 511... "your acting like a ham sandwich"

Hmmmm

As I take number 510 I am wondering if I should pull the trigger on going to dc for strasburg vs the
mets on Saturday????

I'm back!!!!!

So I haven't blogged since Thursday and there have been plenty of dumps there was two on Friday three on Saturday one on Sunday and three Already this morning which brings us to nine dumps since we last were here so that is dumps number 501-509 and the let me tell u that free ham and free beer yesterday is the number 1 factor to me already having three visits this morning and it only being 10 30

Streamers

I set up some tissue style streamers in the bathroom and I got noise makers but no one showed up... Oh well taking the historic 500th dump of the year just like I do all of my dumps at work... First blog then play a game!!!

Add a video

I accidentalLy hit the add a video button just now as I take number 499, and that got me thinking how awesome would it be to add the video of me taking my 500th dump of the year to the blog.. One work describes what that would be.... EPIC

MAke sure u are here tomorrow

The biggest day in dtown history is upon us... Unless something drastic happens tomorrow is the day I reach 500 I currently just wrapped up 498 and I am so excited... Gonna be a celebration bitches!!!!

USA

They almost shit the bed (like what happens after you drink geneese beer)... 496 & 497

One place I would love to dump is....

A knitting contest... Right on the stage and then say "knit that you dumb old broad... Da mayor out" then just walk away... 495

Same backwards and forwards

494... Reverse it... It's still 494.... Wow!!!!!!

Just a counter

This blog might be transforming soon... Not sure ingot to much left to say about my dumps and I don't really want to take this blog public and get more attention to it, prolly not the best thing for me... So we will see what happens after 500 it might be simple way for me to keep count cuz I do want to know how many dumps I take in a year... 493

Almost...

Almost didn't make my run this morning... was getting close to the mile and a half mark and realized oh man, here comes a poop... luckily I made it home was able to drop off number 492 where it belonged

Da Mayor is.....

AWESOME!!!!!!!! 491

That was gross

This is the kind of dumps that would make a grown man cry... But number 490 to the mayor is just another day in the office

1 2 3 4 Fif!!!!

Five dumps since I last was here 485-489... "no but I do plead the fizzif"

Way Later

So totally forgot to blog today.... had two 483 and 484 (which is a fun highway) any way be back tomorrow.

What is wierder

Listening to some one piss while shitting or listening to some one shit while peeing??? 482

1.5

I need to average one and a half dumps per day for the rest of the month so i can hit that illustrious number 500 during the month of June... Which would be perfect cuz half way through the year and half way to 1,000... Number 481 and I keep on and on and on!

Toilet fiasco

So yeah it was 5 30 in the morning and I went for a pee flushed and then a hell broke loose... Water spewing everywhere out of the toilet non stop totally flooding our bathroom... Finally it got under control and we had the super mop up... But da mayor needed to do his thing but the first lady of d town would not allow me to poop in the apartment so I to wait until now at work for number 480... The first lady also claims that my pooping so much prolly has something to do with this toilet malfunction that has now happened twice in two weeks if that is the case then job well done mayor!!!

Now that's what I call a log

I want everyone to picture a nice long shit log... Hahahaha 479

Snot

Some one put their boogers on the wall a long long time ago here in this stall and it is still here... Really? Who the fuck is supposed to take care of these bathrooms... Oh wait never mind that d bag is useless... 478

Wednesday morning Delight

That is what number 477 is a nice delightful treat to start of Wednesday (the worse day of the week)

When u just know

It's funny sometimes when I pooping here at work I just know who is in the stalls next to me... Granted there r not that many males that work here but I can tell by the coughs or the sneezes or even the heavy breathing... It is one of the many restroom skills that da mayor possess... 476

D Town Awards

I was thinking of having a simulcast on the web for dtown Awards show but then changed my mind cuz I would win every single award and would probably run out of things to say and people to thank... Any way here is 475

Make it six

Took a dump late last night and never posted so that was six dumps on Monday... Not too shabby I also have one more right now which makes 473 & 474

My hoMe away from home

Yeah the toilet has been where I've been spending alot of time today... Been relaxing here after dumps and playing games and surfing the web... Work is not really a priority today... 472

Mistake ?

Not sure why I decided to have some chili at lunch, gonna make my already explosive Monday into a painful day... 471

Chugging along

Been d town three time already today but only one post... Any way just business as usual here In dump town... 468-470

Been a while

Hey y'all I'm here.. Been a fun weekend I pooped in new York and Pennsylvania and now here in Tully, NY... There has been six in total since Iast talked to u all on Friday... Sean is pooping next to me he Say's hi.. 462-467

Double Dose

Got hit with a double dose of reality this morning after my first two dumps i realize drinking non light beer makes me take the nastiest dumps this side of the Mississippi.. 460 and 461

Dumping and sneezing

It's not fun... And it could be dangerous.... 459

Prep

Preparing for some free/1/2 off drinks tonight by taking a monster number 458

A note

As I take my 457 trip to d town I wanted to let everyone know that I will be re upping my Pennsylvania sex symbol status tomorrow if there is enough time

Webcast

ONLY IN D-TOWN... only in d-town can you be in the middle of a webcast and take a dump at the same time.. Da Mayor will put anything on hold if he needs to take a trip, my fans need to know when Da Mayor does his business... 456

Immigrant vacation

There was a different janitor roaming around the bathroom this week... I wonder did my dream come true and they finally got rid of that lazy scumbag or is he on vacation... I didn't think fuck head immigrants were allowed to take vacation... 455

Where the poop goes

Do u ever wonder why sometimes ur poop floats on top of the water, sometimes it sinks to the bottom and other times u shit and look down and it's no where to be found... Does it have to do with the density of the poop or the type of dump u release... These are the questions that the world must answer... That why I have kidnapped the worlds best scientist and have them working around the clock to figure out the mysteries of the poop locations.. 454

A lil bit of everything

Some explosions, some long logs and some fowl smells... 453

Whore island

So Dump Town is making moves again, I am in the process of purchasing whore island and turning it into an overseas territory of d-town so everyone look for whore island being owned an operated by Da Mayor him self real soon... 451 & 452

Half way

Half way through the 400s so that means I almost half way to my goal for the year of 1000 which I used to think would be a lock but now not so sure...450

Too early

It's to early to be giving dumps hard pushes so I just sat here and waited for the stubborn lil bastard to find his way into the water.. 449

Pop Ups

I hate pop ups on my computer but i love popping out turds into my toilet.. 447

4

4 dumps since yesterday, 3 different toilets and one was an outside toilet. I pooped next to a creepy crawler... 443-446

Eating out

I dare some one to eat out and not take a shit soon after.. For me it impossible any way it's 442

Another piss poor job

Hey ass fuck janitor instead of making a ruckus and trying to see my dong by breaking into the stall why don't u go pick up the glass in the parking lot that almost gave me a flat tire.. Man this is starting to turn into pure hatred .. 441

Would u rather

This is a lil game I used to play.... Would rather have da mayor shit on ur face or get eaten by a three headed comack... The choice is urs 440

Even

I just noticed that I don't sit evenly on the toilet seat... One leg is more on then another, is this weird ??? Any way 439

Back to Back

Back to back explosions here in d town... One last night and one right now.. Checking to see if there are any survivors.. 437 & 438

Dark

The last two craps have been extra dark.. I mean like mike vick dark...not sure why, 436

Not feeling it

Haven't really into this blog lately not sure if any o e really cares any more but here is 434 & 435

Deadliest Warrior

So I was watching Deadliest Warrior TV show.. I dare any one of the so called Warriors to stand through number 433... I bet they cant, Cuz Da Mayor is the true Deadliest Warrior

Turtle heading majorly

Sitting at my desk on the phone having to crap so bad... I felt it almost come out... I stopped the call instantly and came in here for number 432

Nothing to say

431

Man that Stinks

Wow, how can a smell come out of a human being, I almost fell off the toilet seat from passing out... 430

Another Month

As May comes to end I look back on all of the instant classics that made up the month, lots of poop today, kinda hurting, another 2 428 & 429

Lots of Dump to chat about

4 dumps 424-427 over the past two days, just imagine a pile of 4 of Da Mayors crap... would be epic

A two pack of fun

422 and 423. Two dumps. Two toilets. One Mayor

Deftly a Lighter Man

After the past two dumps I deftly weigh less then I did when I went to bed last night, I can't believe that much shit can come out of a human being... 421

Lit it up

420... Get it I lit the bathroom up with my dump

The eye wink

I have noticed when I am really squeezing out a stubborn turd I wink my left eye and lift up my left butt cheek to really get full energy in my pushes... Everyone should take notice when u struggle to get some dookie out do u have any habits.. 419

Full house

Three dudes all dumping at the same time... Nothing more gross then this.. 418

Earlier on

This post is from earlier in the am... I made Meg look at the corn floating in the toilet water for number 417

Legal battle

I have entered in a class action suit against the city of Detroit so they cease and Desist all uses of the word dtown when referring to Detroit.. Dump Town wants full ownership of the nickname dtown and will stop at nothing to ensure this is the case... 416

Rhyme time

A ring a ding ding number 415. Piss in the toilet shit on the ceiling

Fuck it

414

Dizzumps

Dizzumps...its wat gangstas take when shitting in da hood... 413

Printer

Man number 412 looks real bad I am not sure I shouldve done this... It looks like I took a crap or a dump in the printer

Serious case of the Mondays

So I am officially changing the meaning of this lingo... Now when some one says they got a case of the Mondays that means they have been shitting alot today not they do not want to work after a relaxing weekend.. So guys now that I finished 411 I can say "man I got a case of the Mondays bad"

Back shitter

This dump is so gross I don't think I would want to shit on my worse enemies back with 410.. Well maybe I would shit on Jared from subway cuz he is a queer

Smells like

Yep number 409 smells like straight beer.. Is it possible to get drunk from beer poop??? I will let everyone know if it is

Family style

Another double post here, but this time I took a real family style dump at Carmine's last night while my extended family sat at the table.. 407 & 408

Double Down

Another two here, both explosions.. I am almost shot my self off the toilet on the
2nd one... 405 and 406

Lack of Focus

Sorry to everyone I totally lost focus on the D-Town blog yesterday, I dumped two more times yesterday and didn't let my loyal fans know... any way here is to umber 403 and 404.. I love you all!!!

Scoop

Pooper Scoop, thats all i got to say.... 402

Damayor12

Follow me on grooveshark and get ur self introduced to the world of gangsta rap... 401

Wow

Wow so here it is number 400, may 21 2010 and I have dumped 400 times this year, this is a great day day in dtown I want every body to help me celebrate by drinking numerous beers tonight then taking loud nasty beer dumps tomorrow

Pause

I had to pause the making of my breakfast mid way because 399 was coming, and this is weird because i usually dump after breakfast, but when you drink beer your ass does what ever it wants

I miss the days

I miss the days of snaking people with dumps.. Good ole 139 house.. Walk up the stairs turn the corner boom some on dumping and nine times out of ten that person had a huge grin on their face and who could blame them... 398

Gum on my leg

Not really sure why but I just put the gum I was chewing on my leg while I dump, maybe I thought this would be such a vicious dump that I might lose the gum if it stays in my mouth... Who knows any way the minty leg flavored gum Is delicious and number 397 is in the books

Pictures

It was brought to the da mayors attention yesterday that I can not add pictures to the blog... Think about it do u really want me to add pictures to a dump blog, what do u think 90% of the pictures would be of... 396

Slide Slide

Slide Slide Slippity Slide out comes number 395.. HOLLA!

Went for a pee....

Stayed for a dump, yeah I came in to the bathroom to pee but half way through the pee it hit me number 394 was coming and it wasn't waiting Luckily I just had to turn around and walk into the stall

Yep

Yep da mayor is great and straight up ballin but remember he is a sex symbol in 38 states ... 393

Soap

Yes Soap, it doesn't really get the attention it should, think about it, this is dump number 392, that means I have used Soap 392 times, that's a lot of soap, You know Da Mayor got clean hands

Tall Boys

Dear tall boys

Thank so you much for providing much comfort and taste to me however the next day u make my ass and stomach rumble all day.. I love how I can drink u and u stay warm but I am not a fan of the constant explosions the next day any way here is two tips thanks to u 390 & 391

Sincerely,
Da Mayor

Felt good

That dump was better than sex hands down.. 389

Butt cams

Thinking about installing some butt/anal cams in the toilets I use the most so I can stream some dumps over the web so u can literally see them come out of my ass... Thoughts??? 388

Dump brown

My color is back to normal back the shit brown that I heard home depot is turning into one of their paints.. They might put my face on the can.. 387

Off White

My dump looked a lil off white, not sure, why I don't eat anything white cuz most things white are nasty (minus mash potatoes and ice cream), stay tuned to see what color the next trip is, 386

Actually felt

So I actually felt the corn come out of my butthole during the liquid explosion that was 385, I still don't the purpose of corn it comes out as it goes in

Sam Adams

I just dropped off the legendary Samuel Adams off in his new home I hope he likes it.. 384

Busy Saturday

Three on a Saturday I like... Not use to this but d town is always open for business.... 383

Pasta

Pasta and sauce always make for an excellent trip to d town... Too bad no one is around to bask in the glory of number 382... Oh well I do it alone

This is for

I am dedicating number 381 to YOU... All my loyal readers, thank you

I make dumping sexy

Yeah it's true I take something that's considered to many as gross and I turned it into the sexiest thing this side of the Mississippi.. 380

Smithsonian

Yeah the museum just called up d town and asked if I could donate a sample dump to them. I don't think 379 is right but I will give them a legendary dump for sure

Need a blanket

It's a lil chilly here in the bathroom I don't know if I need a blanket or to just start pushing really hard so I build up a sweat... Either way here is 378

I pray to god you don't drop that shit

Well I dropped it... no its not yellow cake its number 377 of the year.

Drilling

Who the hell is drilling above the bathroom doesn't this fuck nut know I need concentrate while in d town... Geeez!!!!! 376

Cancelled meeting

Wow that's the best news d town has gotten all week, had a meeting then got the cancellation notice and it was at the perfect time to cuz I had seriously explode this restroom.. 375

Science

Yeah so my mornings have pretty much become science these days, same process over and over again.. Shower, Eat, Dump, Brush Teeth, put pants on.. Yep Da Mayor seems to be getting into a habit.. 374

Passing it on

I hope dumping is hereditary bc I really wanna pass the mayor seat off to some one one day and what better person to do that to then my own spawn.. 373

Slew of meetings

I got a bunch of meeting coming up so I better get this dump in now.. Oh and I totally never blogged my dump this morning so I got numbers 371 & 372 for all my loyal subjects

Hey Dbag

Yo janitor some totally violated the throne I usually sit on when I am at work why are you always around when I don't want u to be but when real shit goes down ur MIA... I really wish they would deport this fool.. 370

Toe tag

I want remind everyone out there of the power that is da mayor.. If any one ever challenges Da Mayor I will John Doe toe tag your sorry ass and that's a promise... 369

D-Town time

Yeah so I was sitting at my desk not even realizing where I was a d say out loud "D-town time" the person next to me goes what did u say.. I quickly run away to the bathroom and drop off number 368

Lucky I was Home

This would've deftly left bodies laid out all over the entire office, it was loud devastating and gosh darn just plain old smelly... 367

Can't stop won't stop

Da mayor goes hard that's fo sure and here is the hardest thing of all I have crapper 366 times this year

Awesome weekend = dump filled Monday

So I'm back and my ass keeps exploding this time it's for the 365th time of the year

Two before 8

Yeah two disgusting dumps that left debris for sure and both before 8 am. 363 and 364, it could be one of those days.

Red Butt

Blood and Poop.. enough said 362

Scale of 1 to ten

Got two dumps here 360 and 361, during 360 Sean asked me on a scale of one to ten how much does this dump hurt i said it was a modest 6.

Pre post and double post

Pooped in the bleacher bar before the game and then totally destroyed the pizzeria UNO after the game and now I'm laying down a fresh one back in the Boston mansion... 357, 358 & 359

Masshole

My ass is now an masshole shitting in coates Boston shit hole yes with the door open... Hey mikey I can see u!!! 356

Get Ready Bean Town

Get ready Boston, Da MaYor is coming through and he is bringing the heavy artillery. I hope you can handle me Mass... 355

Just missed

Two guys walked into the bathroom right I laid out a devastating long drop of the hammer if they walked in during the onslaught I doubt they would still be working here right now.. 354

Laying on stomach

As I take number 353 an odd thought popped into my head what would it look like if some was lying nude on their stomach and the just shit... Depending on what type of shit it was it could be awesome, weird and or nasty... Think about it

Fart and Run

We all have done it before... Me i was standing in my bedroom, i farted then ran to the bathroom, cuz hear came the dump.. Yeah we all have done this but i guarantee no one has Farted than ran to the bathroom to drop off number 352!!

I might as well...

Just eat dinner on the toilet cuz as soon as I finished dinner i was on the toilet yelling at meg and dropping 351, i guess one short of Da Mayor's 3 S's

Meeting rumbles

I hate being in a meeting and then all of a sudden it's time to dump... Ur stomach makes noises and every body knows that this guy needs to take a crap and then after the meeting I am not at my desk... Not like I care if they know I am da mayor.. 350

Next level

It's now may and I thinks it's past the time where I gotta stop thinking and start doing.. I need to expand this blog to more people I need to get more exposure.. I want to be an Internet sensation... 349

I remember when...

I remember when i was young and i really did think my shit didn't stink, literally! I could take a dump and no one would even know cuz it smelled great in the restroom, now if i take a dizzump it smells for days and everyone knows Da Mayor was here! 348

Ripped off

I ripped of the tag to my boxers and left here in the stall as way to mark my territory now people will think twice before just walking into one of my offices and defecating.. 347

Still Floating Around

I love when i take such an explosive dump that one flush won't do it.. After the first flush their is still some excess dump laying around in the toilet.. 346

345

Man what a stinkfest it was in the bathroom, it could've killed a normal human being but I am Da Mayor

Huge dump

Seriously i think this dump was the biggest one i ever took in my life and I have taken a lot of craps, you should've seen the size of the log! 344

Go Habs Go

343... fuck the penguins

another 2

Quick post again for number 341 and 342..city dumps... yes in a burger king

Quick post

The girls fam is down this weekend so I gotta be quick with my dumps and posts so here is 339 and 340.. Closed out April a lil weak sorry ya ll

All alone

So back in da city office for the mayor but I am all alone so I don't gotta worry about how long I take in my office he'll I can stay here all day.. 338

Apple Drink

Did i have apple drink last night and not even know my poop was green for number 337??... ITS GREEN!!!!

Research

D town not only is a place to take dumps and relax u can also do some serious research here and I took full advantage of this during 336

Weigh

So if you took all of my dumps, including the most recent 335, and put them together on a scale how much do you think it would weigh? Do you think it would be the largest collection of human crap ever? I think it would way over a ton!

Who wants to suck my ass???

How much money would u have to get in order to suck the mayor's distinguished ass?? Oh and of course the ass sucking would have to take place in the dead of the night and you couldn't start until their was an announcement that said "Let the ass sucking commence"... 334

All about 3

D Town is feeling the number three big time right now, not only is this dump number 333 but it is also the 3rd trip today... It's the little things like this that make dumptown the best place in the world

A thought

I am thinking here as a middle staller come next to me during 332 that yes middle staller suck but they do get to sit next to the best dumper in the world and take a dump next to him.. I mean that is a damn honor indeed.. However if I ever figure out who the habitual middle staller is let's just say stunners will be dished out

Nod of Approval

I gave my self a slight nod of approval after 331, damn was that one good smelling dump.

Almost lost a contact

Was pushing and squeezing and fighting so hard during 330 that I almost lost my left contact ... I gotta be careful Dumptown can be a dangerous place

Advice

Da Mayor wants to give back here for 329... He want to remind his readers to make sure to check your poop from time to time not only is it encouraging to see an A+ dump in the ole throne but it can let u know if you are sick or something is wrong I suggest googling feces colors to see if u might need to go to the doc

Should be it

So I think I finally got the weekend out of me (and tonight's dinner as well) lets hope my ass and stomach settle... 328

Shop

Hey dtownaholics look for the new D-Town shop to be available later this year... Just thought of this while taking number 327.. Yes I am a genius

Da Goal

One of da mayor's many goals is to have a non toilet dump I wanna shit some where besides a toilet bowl... This will happen folks trust me it's just not happening here for number 326

Celebrity post

Hey everyone it's Maroon Man here live from the same stall as Da Mayor as he pushes out number 325... Da mayor has been kinda enough to let me make this post and remember bad guys beware Maroon Man could be lurking

Pre Shower

A pre Shower dump to start the day off right, And yes I did wipe before i got in the shower... 324

Closing the door

I really do not see the need to close the door when dumping, it should be something that everyone in the world is subject to. I am the mayor and a sex symbol in 38 out of 50 states (soon to be 39). At work or if I have company be aware the door will be open... 323

Extreme

322 was an extreme trip to d town... Kinda ironic because of the PPV extreme rules that is on tonight

Hot sauce

321... Egg whites and hot sauce for breakfast then as usual trip to dump town

Mom and dad

Here u go mom and dad I left number 320 in the toilet and it smells awesome

The truth

Some co workers of mine didn't believe that I sometimes go 4 or five times a day to the bathroom I almost showed them this blog but decided this is not really work place kinda stuff.. 319

Cash over bitches

Da Mayor follows this theory and he also follows Dumps over bitches as well.. 318

Three hundred and seventeen

Yep I'm back for another trip to dtown.. I was thinking as mayor I should come up with a national defecation day where the whole world can celebrate their trips to my town.. Hmmmm what day should I choose?

DRAFT!!!

With the 316th pick in the NDL (National Dumping League) draft, Da Mayor selects... Explosive Dump

Sneezing and dumping

It makes for an awkward combo especially when they both come out at the exact same time.. 315

ATTACK!!!!

Just released a brutal attack on the middle staller next to me during 314, that was full of vicious farts and devastating bomb drops.. Poor sap never saw it coming but he deserves it for choosing the middle stall over the more reasonable end stalls

Gave it all he got

Number 313 fought me to the bitter end... He did not want to come out, he was a solider and a fighter but in the end the mayor always wins the battle

Pre greek dump

The company is heading over to a Greek restaurant for the remainder of the day... I better get 312 in now

Hey Baby

Hey baby stop selling weed u got ur whole future ahead of you... 311

Gross

So when u dump as much as I do gross things are bound to happen.. I am on the toilet at work for number 310 and it is an auto flushing toilet... So I sit down and I shuffle a little and the sensor thinks I got up so it flushes.. Sound harmless right.. Well the toilet was a little backed up from excess toilet paper (could ve been my fault not sure) and the water rose all the way to the top and hit my butt cheeks... It was horrifying

My favorite

I know all my readers prolly wonder and people ask me all the tome what my favorite type of dump is and I do love them all since I da mayor... The explosion style dump holds a special place in my heart just because it generates the best reaction from people to happen to be I'm striking distance... 309 was not an explosion

Da Mayor Keep Out

I am working with the graphics department to make me a gangsta ass sign that says this... It's gonna change the work place restroom forever... 308

Go back in time

Man I would love to take dump number 307 here and bag it up and go back to 2007 and throw the bag of shit right in that bag of shit Sean Tracey's face... Wild west for life

Super Kick

It feels like someone just super kicked my asshole during 306... I thought HBK retired????

Dusty Bloodstone

I totally just Dusty Bloodstoned the bathroom for number 305... If u know good ole Dusty B then u know I totally devastated this bathroom and don't even give two shits about it

Nothing Sexier

There is nothing sexier then a Mayor sitting on his porcelain throne, naked taking his 304th dump of the year... And that is a fact

Showing me her hand

Meg decided to come into the bathroom to show me her cut on her hand while i was taking number 303, it was this decision that she immediately regretted b/c of the overwhelming smell coming from my office

Long

It felt like i was pooping for "20 innings" for number 302, was on the throne for a while

Plop Plop Plop

Thats what 301 was like three plops of turd nuggets... plop a nugget, plop a nugget, plop a nugget... wipe

There is....

Only one word to describe number 300..... EPIC!!!

Not normal Friday

It feels like a Monday for my ass.. It is prolly very confused because it usually gets a break on Fridays and Saturdays any way here is 299

Hockey shits on baseball

I am taking number 298 and making it a public service announcement that it's NHL playoff time... Best sports time of the year... No one gives a shot about April baseball

297

Not much to say but that I am glad I am leaving this apartment cuz it will smell like 297 for a while.

closing in

296... Getting closer to another milestone... Expect da mayor to be out preparing this weekend... U just might see him in a bathroom near u

The three L's

So yeah number 295 deftly falls under the three L's... Loud, long and lethal

Fiber

I always here that people should add more Fiber to there diets, imagine if the Mayor added more Fiber to his diet, I would be crapping ten times a day... That might sound like something right up my alley but trust me, my ass can not handle ten dumps a day even though I am Da Mayor.... 294

I feel like Finch

Conducting business while I crap... Well I guess I am da mayor.. 293

Shoot first ask questions later

This is how da mayor lives his life.. I shoot turd bullets into toilets first then if need be I ask questions... 292

Motor Boating Son of A Bitch

Doing the motor boat sounds with mouth as I take number 291, imagine actually motor boating a pair of boobs while shitting down throats

Becoming a habit

So it's pretty much a given now a days when I crap at work I spend some extra time playing solitaire on my I touch.. It's a great way to escape from work like I am doing for 290

Big wigs

The big wigs were in the bathroom chatting it up while I was taking number 289... I kept very still and quite cuz I didn't want them to disturb the mayor in action... Plus the are known to talk to people when they dump.. No need to talk to a CEO while visiting dump town

288 sure feels great

Yep all is well in dtown another day in the office for your mayor

Bathroom is fucked

What the hell is going on here at the men's bathroom here at work u got water all over the floor from a over flooded toilet and a urinal out of order that smells like old tuna fish cuz it won't flush so the piss is just sitting in it.. I just want to come into the bathroom and relax for number 287, where is that fuck head janitor now

Red x 2

Got the red dumps and the red snot for number 286..

Back in the swing of things

Back to work after a nice vacation, things do not change, right back to morning dumps.. 285

DO NOT GO IN THERE!

WOOOOOO!!!!! number 284

WebCam?

Taking 283 i thought how awesome would it be if i had a camera in my bathroom so all my readers could actually see the mayor in action, would be groundbreaking indeed

2 dumps two different states

So i pooped in both Florida and New York today for numbers 281 and 282, another major achievement for da MaYoR

Early flight early dump

Up bright and early for the flight back to new York... Not as hung over as last year but still laid a classic beer dump for number 280

Babies came in handy

So we were getting ready to head out on our last night in Florida when one of the babies shit her diaper so I got to sneak off and lay out number 279.. Nice work kid

Bill Brasky!!!!

His poop was considered currency in Argentina...278 would deftly not be cuz dat ish was gross

The beer is catching up

So yeah all the beer I've been consuming this week on vacation is paying me back with another furious and painful dump.. 277

Banana hamocks

276 was almost as gross as all the banana hammocks I saw on the beach yesterday... I am scarred for life

Breakfast in and breakfast out

As quick as I ate breakfast it came out even quicker for number 275

Good morning Dump Town

Today is gonna be a good day after a real solid trip for number 274... Oh and by the way I had to pull up my pants and run into the other room and get tissues to wipe my ass yesterday but apparently there was tp behind the seat on the toilet the entire time.. Oh well makes for a good D town story

Not good

273 and no toilet paper and Meg is no where in sight. Not sure what to do will let everyone know next time

Port o pong

After A long day of playing beer pong in the pool and chilling in the hot tub time machine I laid out number 272

My own lil cave

271.. It nice that in this vacation house here in sunny Florida I have my own bathroom nestled in the back so I can escape and take my patent kinger dumps

Where is Dan?

He is prolly pooping... Meg knows me so well, I was taking dump number 270

Chlorine enhanced

Number 269 is deftly chlorine enhanced... So it actually smells decent

Following me in

So Roxie followed me into the bathroom for number 268, I told her I don't think u can handle being in the presence of the mayor... FYI Roxie is a dog

Status

In the middle of a splashful number 267... After this I am meeting with the governor of Florida to get my sex symbol status in the state renewed, this should be easy!!!

Sunshine state

266 chillin in Florida will be here for the next week... Readers don't worry I got wifi

Two airports

Two airports two dumps LGA and Miami airport I dropped down 264 and 265

If ya smellllllll what the mayor is cookin'

Well if you did smell it then u smelled number 263, which was a regular old beer dump. Man i love the smell of beer dumps in the morning.

Here you go Schiff

So a while back a friend of D-Town told me i should make a post about the awkardness and toughness of crapping with a Bonor.. well it happened this morning for 262 and i have to say it is very awkawrd especially when you gotta pee. It wasn't what a person should be doing with morning wood.

Banter thoughts

So apparently this guy walked into the stall while a regular reader of the blog, toad was taking a dump and I got to thinking what whould I do if that happened to me... Simple I would say "Welcome dump town motha fucka, I am ur motha fucking mayor... 261

Gangsta walk

I did my gangsta walk into the stall and laid down a fresh number 260

I am ending the blog

The blog is over....











APRIL'S FOOLS.... 259

I can't stop cumming it feels so good

Well actually not really I actually can't stop dumping and it doesn't feel good at all.. 258

Frog the cat

257 was like frog the cat lovable at first but when u think about it it's kinda nasty

Getting the lil extra

SO I was really squeezing tough to make sure I get all of number 256 out. I know my readers expect nothing but a 110% effort from their mayor and dammit that's what I give

Another d town milestone

255 brings yet another dumptown milestone to life.. This marks the first month where I have 90 trips for the month.. March is the biggest month so far... Here's to even bigger things in April

I am the Best

Trust me when i say i am the best in the world at what I do (dumping) seriously i am the best and everyone who thinks they are close to me, nope you fools are stuck in the middle like L-M-N-O... 254

Solitaire break

So I just didn't feel like getting up and goin back to work after number 253 so I stayed on the toilet and played a couple games of solitaire until I won

Ahhhhh

It's nice to not have a firey butthole any more. 252 was a easy dump that really put a smile on my face and I hope this post puts a smile on all my readers faces as well

Struggling to pee

One interesting thing about taking so many dumps at work is that a lot of people come in to pee and it's funny to me when they have trouble peeing I don't know if they heard me in the stall and got nervous or they just have real trouble urinating either way I find it hilarious and I don't even know who these struggling urinators are cuz I can't see them... 251

Most awful noises ever

250 had some of the worse noises ever to come out of a human being... Y couldn't this happen yesterday when I was just sitting on the couch... My Mondays are always so brutal

Danger

There should be a danger sign that people can put on the bathroom doors for dumps like 249

The Real Aftermath

It usually takes about a day for these long nights of drinking to catch up to my butthole, and it is starting this morning, with 2 brutal dumps that are WrestleMania size! 247 and 248

4 post

Got four to post about here 243,244,245 and 246 and i only got one word to say MCSORELY'S

Flapping

I was so nude when i took number 242 that my sexy ass body was flapping in the wind, yeah I am a sexy dumping machine

Not all there today

So I am deftly not focusing my full attention today to the blog and I am sorry I got two trips to post here 240 and 241 Expect big things after this weekend... Monday is gonna be rough I have a feeling

Spaced

Totally missed a post yesterday when I took a trip to the 1st floor bathroom cuz ours was flooded... I am glad the first floor got to experience da mayor for number 239

Comack style dump

Yes 238 was a real real sloppy trip... There was shit all over the inside of the toilet... It looks like comacks sloppy face.. I hope that d bag janitor has fun cleaning this toilet

Gold

Man number 237 was pure gold.... Yes i am that fuckin nice I shit GOLD.. Da Mayor is coming to a hood near U!!!

Does your mother sew?

BOOM! get her to sew that!!! 236

Turd Nuggets

Just took a peak in the toilet and saw a lot of turd nuggets floating around for number 235..

Convenient

It is convenient to me that I am considered by just about everyone to be the shit and well I have this blog. 234

Thyroid

As I sit and take number 233 of the year I read that Jose Reyes is cleared for baseball activities... While this is good is he really just cleared to get injured again?

Legacy

As I take number 232 I wonder what will happen when the year is over after I take my last trip of the year, presumably on Dec. 31, what kind of legacy will the mayor leave behind after a year of chronicling his most awesome trips to D-Town

Tingly

You ever get that tingly feeling in your face when ur taking a dump that really needs a good push, man I love that feeling to me it signifies a job well done... So mayor job well done for 231

Stuck

It sure does suck when you get the toilet paper stuck in ur butthole when trying to wipe, It has happened to all of us for sure, but it still isn't fun yanking it outta there like I just did for 230.

Loud

It sure is loud in the bathroom for number 229 I am letting the bombs fly and I Am not the only one

This feels right

Back on the toilet for 228 I got that usual Monday feeling in my stomach like I can't stop shitting... Da mayor is back!!!

Seriously fuck this guy

Ok really every fucking time I am in d town this dam weird creepy janitor guy comes in the bathroom... I know I complained about this before but this dude has to have like mayor radar on him and he makes such a ruckus while he is in here and always shakes the stall door.. I'm like dude back the fuck off I am trying to take my 227th trip here

Back To Basics

Just got back to the norm this morning, I don't get why the weekends are so quiet with Trips and the weekdays are loaded with them, but oh well here is 226

Tearing them up

As people all over the country are tearing up thier brackets cuz a lot of shocking loses in the tourny, I am mad and flipping out because it has been 48 hours since my last dumo, I can't let this happen again, as I bring you 225.

Prawn

In SP for the night and enjoyed some shrimp the proceeded to dump them right back into the water for number 224

Dumpology

There has been a lot of banter talk about made up colleges and courses so I was thinking during 223 that I should start my own science called Dumpology then pretty soon I will have my own school D-Town University... It's gonna be HUGE!!

Three twos

222 is a burner.. Could be a long day

Fists clenched

Deftly had to clench my fist tight as I needed everything I had in me to push out number 221... Glad it's cool in this bathroom or I would've walked outta here sweating

220

Another morning another dump to brighten up my day, morning dumps usually just come out of no where and I usually need to run to the bathroom.

Shooting

Shooting turd nuggets at rapid fire for number 219... Stay away if u want to live

March madness

March has deftly been march madness with all the trips to d town I have been taking... Let the games begin and here is to number 218

I'm not the only one

Bathrooms all across America is getting their fair share of work today with every one dumping their st Patty's day left overs into the yellow toilet water.. I may not be the only one dumping a lot today but am the only one who has gone 217 times in 2010????

Double trouble

Got numbers 215 and 216 to blog about here... Pretty sure the toilet paper was green after

Pre Drink Dump

Was nice to get a pre st. patty day drinking dump out for number 214, now on with the drinking

Who knocks

So was minding my own business during 213 and all of a sudden some one starts knocking on a public bathroom door..seriously open the damn door

Two birds

What's better then taking ur 212th trip of the year and calling a friend gay on facebook at the same time.. Deftly killing two birds with one stone.. Or maybe it's killing 200 birds by heaving one boulder???

Suck it trebeck

211 in the books and let me tell u it was a doozy.. Hard pushes and big splashes not to mention the awesome smell that is the mayor's trips

St. Patty's Day

Number 210 was as stubborn as a drunken irishmen. That is all

Tucked in

So the dress for today is business casual so I gotta tuck my damn shirt in.. Don't these fools know that is a major inconvenience to the Mayor.. Geeezzzz!!!! 209

Nice log

Just peaked at the log I laid out for number 208 it is quite impressive I must say

Cornbeef and dumps

Yeah so wasn't expecting to be back so soon for my 207th but we had a st. Pattys day lunch here and yes the corn beef and especially the cabbage went right through me

Similar to a Monday banter

Taking my 206th trip of the year I can't help but to think Monday trips are similar to wat our dear friend brian mentioned in the ole banter.. And Monday morning are heavy with action and then it slows down in the afternoon.. Very similiar indeed...I don't get why Mondays are so heavy and the weekends are so light but that's the way my body seems to work

Evacuation process

As a add to my already itchy assholle with my 205th trip of the year I can't help to think there should be a posted notice on the bathroom wall explaining the evacuation process when the mayor is laying down one of his infamous dumps... It would say something like " please exit in an orderly manor do not panic and please try to stay calm. You may return to the said restroom in ten to fifteen minutes after the mayor vacates his office

204 Holla!

Just laid down a fresh trip for all my readers, feel good on this monday, actually not hung over for a change!

Mr. Sam Adams

Thank you Sam for being a major factor to this morning's 203rd trip of the year, I thought of you as i squeezed out another instant classic

Oh My God!

Direct quote from Meg as I exploded number 202 of the year, it was awesomely gross

Last Night Ricotta Attack

Ricotta Cheese usally goes right through me and it did last night, with my 201st trip of the year.. it was liquid satisfaction at its greatest

Usually you pay double for that kind of action, Cotton

2 trips to post about here... 199 was quick cuz be a busy working man today. However now it is a celebration BITCHES!!! number 200 in the books... Mark down on your calendar folks March 12th 2010 = 200 dumps for the year!

Cough Attack

Had a coughing attack during 198 it was a little wierd trying to poop and cough at the same time, I almost fell off the toilet

Kept my self composed

Was holding number 197 in for over a hour while in a meeting... Feels good to get it out

The day after

Last night had lots of beers and free food needless to say number 196 is brutal but I doubt it was as bad as that barrirto dump that was discussed yesterday on the ole email banter

Why!??

Why when I want to take a quick dump its a long one where I gotta push like 195 and when I have all the time in the world it's a quickie

City dump

194 is in the city office.... Can't spend alot of time here cuz there is only three people here and the office is small and it's obvious what I am doing... Don't wanna get those looks like I know wat u just did

Where were u?

So when some one is looking for u and they can't find u cuz ur in dtown... What do u say..."sorry I was just reppin d town for the 193rd time this year" well if it a chick I don't think so... If it's a chill dude try it out see wat kinda reaction u get

Echoing

I gotta say the echoing of my farts that grace this bathroom are quite delightful... I mean when people here them they know a vicious dump is coming next and guess what 192 just did

Sex Symbol

Even when i am taking my 191st trip of the year i am still considered a Sex Symbol in 38 of the 50 states... don't ask about the 12 states i am not in, I am not well liked in the Mid West.

Bullet

190 was like a bullet coming out of a gun... It was fast loud and hard and if some one got hit by it they prolly would die

The bigger stall

I figured for 189 I would hit up the bigger stall on the end of the row of stalls.. It just felt right

Love

Who doesn't love the smell of thier own dumps.. I could wear da mayor dump cologne that's how much I love the smell of 188

Vodka

Y did I drink vodka last night... I almost passed out during my latest trip.. 187

3 for 1 !

Posting three trips right now, its been a crazy freaking weekend and here is the post for 184, 185 and 186 now its time to chill.

A day late

Tool a dump last night but couldn't update so here is to hard 183

Stony point

182 is a special one... My first dump at my parents house in 2010.. Crazy I haven't been home since Xmas

Cajun style

My 181st Trip of the year has a lil spice to it as I had a Cajun chicken wedge today for lunch

Kinda Funny

As i was taking my 180th trip of the year, i had the TV on in the other room and it was on Mike and Mike and they said the phrase "big splash" numerous times, funny cuz that what was going on in the bathroom at the exact same time.

Ring Tone

Some one (me) should make a new ring tone, and have it be the sound of a dump hitting the water, the plop and the splash it would be called, these are the awesome things Da Mayor thinks of when he is in his office... 179!

The New Three S's

For my 178th i decided to unveil a new and different Three S's.. For this i of course shit.. it was glorious, i showered, but this time the last S was Scold.. Yes i scolded my woman. Try it out, if you don't have a woman you can scold a child.

Xplosionville

Serious case of the explosions here for 177... People keep coming in to... I kinda feel bad for them but I ain't holdin back

Always nice

It's always nice to get texts from people about their dumps and this blog while i am actually taking a trip my self.. 176

The peak

For my 175th I wanna talk about the peak... We all do it we look between our legs into the dirty toilet water and admire our "work of art" I know I do it quite often and I usually nod my head in approval... Just like I did for my 175

River of Dreams

Channeling my inner Billy Joel here (no not drinking and driving) "In the middle of the night" i go walking to take my 174 dizzump

Denver or whore island

Is 173 going to Denver or whore island.... Neither its DUMPTOWn!!!!

If you had one

If you could choose one place in the world instead of ur work toilet where would u drop ur 172nd trip of the year?


Answer: Sidney Crosby's face

Cool as the other side of the pillow

as I push out a smooth number 171 I think to my self man i am a cool smooth son of a gun... That's right your mayor is as cool as the other side of the pillow

Sweating

I was litterally sweating, as i sit and take my 170th trip of the year. As the steam heat pumps through the bathroom i can actualyl see the steam, i sweat as i moderatley push out another instant classic

A reasonable request

as I sit and update everyone on my 169th trip I think I should be granted my own personal bathroom here at work. I mean I am da mayor and also I feel it would benefit every male in this company since they won't have to deal with my smells and my Explosions.. Reasonable right?

March could be brutal

Predicting a brutal and devastating month for the mayors body.. as I fight through 168 I think of all that is happening this month.. Not good

One six seven

Hard dump for 167... The kind of dump that splashes water up onto ur ass

Kickin off March

Another month in the books and now i start march with number 166. I was standing in my bedroom watching the TV, then all of a sudden a fart that told me this is more then just a fart, so i ran into the bathroom and did my thang!

Another 2 pack

Another 2 trips to blog about here, both were in the high stink factor.. 164 and 165

Oh no

It was 11 55 and I had to dump and buy red sox tickets at the same time, obv. dumping came first for 162 and after i hit up 163, egg for bfast - are coming back out

Saturday morning cartoons?

NO WAY!!! its saturday morning trips to dumptown!!! after shaking the bed with massive farts all morning i hit up the toilet for number 161

Back on my Game

After a lackluster day yesterday, I am back at it with my 3rd of the day and my 160th of the yeah, here is to closing out the month STRONG!!!

Sad but true

Yes it is true to all my readers I did not I repeat did not go to d town yesterday... Not sure if that is the first time all year I don't feel like doing the research.. Any who got two for u here number 158 and 159

Mayor or King

As I partake in a nasty 157.. I think of a question that was recently brought up to me and that was why not be the king of dump town.. One reason cuz I am already the king of awesome and two dump town is not a monarchy.. But it is borderline a dictatorship

The rumbles

I think I might be the new oatmeal i switched to in the morning that has more fiber thats making my stomach act this way... Not good stuff going on inside me right now I as explode for 156

Soft poops

A soft poop that left my ass hurting?? Wierd stuff going on for number 155

Really?

It's barely 9am here at the office and some one already got to the stall before me the last thing I expected when I sat down for number 154 was there to be a warm seat.. If it the person who I think it is who was just here then I am grossed out and shouldve picked the far stall

Poop Bubbles

Had some poop bubbles rumbling around my tummy, hurt coming out for number 153 and hurt the entire way home from work, just the prices i pay in order to be your Mayor!

Vetran move

Vetran move by the old mayor... Had to meet with some braud but I pushed that shit back in order to well shit for the 152nd time of the year

None til after lunch???

151 is very odd... If u been a reader u know I do a lot of dumping in the AM to go for the first time for the day after I have already eaten lunch is just ludacris

One Fitty

150 for the year, they keep coming and I hope everyone is enjoying this ride.

Need to stop Sunday drinking

More brutal explosions coming out for 149.. I wouldn't call this a glourious lifestyle but some ones gotta do it

Manic Monday

Man another Monday another painful day.. StYed tuned I highly doubt 148 will be my last post of the day

Do you believe in Miracles

It is almost a miracle that I go to the bathroom this much, 147 and its only Febuary

Early Morning Style

Up early to take my 146th trip of the year. Doesn't matter what time or what day it is da Mayor always runs shit.

Miss ya

Random note here for my 145... i miss Jagr, wish he was still with the Blueshirts.. come back JAGR!

Raced Home

Was out for a nice neighborhood stroll when number 144 snuck upon me, so i had to hurry home and let the magic happen

Slaughter

143... i slaughtered this one, seriously I am the best in the world at what i DO!!!

DA MaYoR

Livin Large for 142

Man was i pimpin just now as i took my 142nd. I just took a trip to dtwon with over 800 dollars on me, dats how da mayor be livin.... LARGE!

The Matt Lopiccolo

I contimpaled doing the Matt Lopiccolo for number 141, but i decided it was just wrong, and i did it the normal way.

PS - for all my readers that might not know what the Matt Lopiccolo is, it is when you take a dump and deside instead of wiping you hop in the shower and let the water clean out your butthole.

Post lunch

Nothing better then a post lunch trip to dtown.. 140

No need for a push

Didn't need any extra pushing for 139 just sat down and it shot right out like a cannon.. Gotta love easy going trips like this one

America!

Was proud while i was taking my 138th of the year after the American's won 6 medals last night... 3 being gold.

Some casual skimming

This wifi stuff is really awesome when you can skim an article (I didn't read it fully cuz reading is for suckers) while u take a nasty trip to dtown.. 137

Almost impossible

I think it's almost impossible to not piss while taking a dump... Even sometimes I won't piss then get up and turn right around cuz I gotta piss.. To all my readers try to see when u don't pee even just a lil while u take trips to dtown... 136

Wet Toilet

So the toilet was pretty wet after my 135th trip of the year... b/c i was mid shower and then all of a sudden... that feeling came upon me, didn't really get a chance to dry my self off fully, needless to say it was another explosion

Now that's a real full trip

So i deftly had my 134th just now. Let me tell you it started with an explosion, followed by a log followed by some turds. I looked into the toilet and saw debris all over the bowl walls, it was grossly awesome

Not sure about this

I am gonna be fair and count this toward 133 since I didn't get it all out... So this is 133 1/2

Going right through

Seems like my lunch always seems to go in my mouth then right out of my asshole moments later... This is simliar to Monahan who has dicks go in his mouth and out of his asshole all the time... 133

132

I shit on folks the opposite of R. Kelly

Taco Night

Had Tacos for dinner last night, use your imagination and I bet you can figure out how number 131 was this morning.

Listen up!

I yelled to Meg from the toilet before it came out and said u better mute the tv and listen up... And BOOM an explosion from my asshole... Meg heard it and was disgusted... 130

129.. Damn it's fine

Actually it isn't fine got some serious shits today... Dumps that would make a normal man cry.. But this is my life I pay the price to be the best and to give all my readers what they want

10 beers = red poops

Man y did I need to have ten beers last night... Feeling the aftermath here on 128

Presidential

And when i say Presidential i mean it was freaking huge... a massive morning trip for number 127 on this President's Day

The Real 126

This time I really am posting about my 126th poop of the year. You know whats weird is when you dump, then wipe and their is barely any residue on the TP.

125 Actually

For some reason i can't edit the last post.. but it should be 125 not 126

Sneak Poop

Snuck a poop out while no one was paying attention while at Meg's Parent's house in upstate NY. Number 126 done... stay ed tuned!

YUMMMM

Just dumped at a red robin then I enjoyed a delicious burger... Holla for124

Beautiful golden fur

123 feels like I just pooped a palamino... I called my dear friend Beverly after of course

Upstate style

So I am in upstate new York today and let me tell you I dump the same here and down state... I go hard just like I did for 122

USA! USA! USA!

121... Maybe one day dumping will be an Olympic sport.. For now I guess I'll be watching hockey, snowboarding and curling.. USA all the way!!!!!!

Blowin it up for 120

Explosions galore as I am rocking the rest rooms for 120.. I was slow this week but ending it very strong

Fart first dump second

I love that I always let out a brutal fart right before I partake in my trips to d town.. Especially when some one else in the restroom and they have deal with it... Makes me smile.. 119 in the books

Buck Naked

I love taking dumps totally naked.. it just feels so much more natural... sitting there letting the poo flow out as my sex symbol of a body flows freely... Number 118

Fantastic

I am fantastic at what I do... Don't any one forget, I have taking something like dumping - a normally disgusting thing and turned it into an Internet Sensation. 116 and 117 for ya'll

Forgot to flush

Just a normal dump for number 115 but went back an hour later to pee and found it still chillin in the toilet it was pretty awesome looking

Something not right today

I dont know wat it is today but it feels like I am living in this stall today. I will poop and then five minutes later I feel like I gotta take another massive dump. I know some of u that know me r prolly thinking hey king it's cuz u never stay long enough to get it all out however this is not the case today these r full fledged monster trips I'm talking about here.. So I am live for two posts here 113 and 114

Bathroom chatters

Not a big fan of these people... Just wanna come in do my business and occasionally give all of you a live posting like this 112th dump of the year is. Honestly I don't wanna talk to u while my unit is in my hand

You Can't See ME!!!!

When it comes to D-Town no one can see me.. 111 in the books

The Fire Continues

The Asses Of Fire continues with 110.. Red and Brown do not go well together

Its the Wiping

It's the wiping that really kills me on days like today, I am thinking about starting a petition here at the office to get softer toilet paper.. Wonder if it will catch on??? 109

Gonna be one of those days

Toilets all over America are getting a lot of uses today. 108 was brutal and by the way Today should be a national Holiday where no one has to work..

Wings and Beer

Do i even need to say any more about 107? I think not

Super post

Fitting that I would post three here on the super bowl... Who dat? 106 now

Just Another Day at the Office

103.. Another day, another trip to d-town..

Live for 102

Think I finally figured out how to type in the Subject box while on my iPod touch.. This is a huge day for the dtown blog.. 102 will go down in history

Dumpin' 101

I really could be a Professor of dumping.. However i Don't think i would waste my time teaching Dumpin 101 - Intro to Dumpin' I would be teaching Dumpin 400 - Advanced Dumpin and Dumpin 465 - Dumpin In the 21st Century.

Cue the Ceremonial music

I was humming Ric Flair's theme song to my self as I took my 100th trip of the year to D-Town.. This is a huge day for me, people might think it is only February 5th and you have taken 100 dumps already this year... I say you haven't seen anything yet... Expect much more exciting posts.. Twist and turns, maybe even a Celebrity or two.

Nine Nine

Short and Hard... that's what she said... ha ha 99

That's The Kind I want

My 98th trip of the year is exactly the type of dump i want if I ever do get the privilege to shit on some one's back. It was the explosion type dump. I don't want a log just to land on part of the back, that is too easy to wipe off, i want to explode my shit all over there back so it is a night mare to get off. Man it would be great to shit on someones back.

Your Best Thinking

I dare some one to tell me a better place where they do their best thinking. D-Town is where i have my best ideas... hell its prolly where I thought of keeping track of my trips. I had a great idea that I wish not to share at this time for my 97th trip

Warm Seats

Everyone has had this happen to them, you go in for a trip to d-town and you get ready, undo your pants, turn around and sit and the seat is warm... You know instantly that some one has just left the toilet. You think oh man what if it was that gross dude in Accounting who always eats fast food, the smell of the last person is still lingering around and you wonder what did I do to deserve this, can't I get my own private work bathroom, I am the mayor for Christ sake(well i am the only one who thinks about being the mayor cuz i am the only mayor of Dump-Town) Anyways you all know it and hate... the warm seat was my number 96th trip of the year.

Back-up

A lil backup coming with me in the ass region. I was doing a lot of pushing and grunting and struggling, but after my foot fell asleep and my ass was hurting i got all of number 95 out... sorry to all my reader who were hoping for a bowling alley post but I just didn't have to take the trip.

New Jersey

"I just took a massive New Jersey".. It was delightful

94 is brought to you by How I met Your mother.

If you are a reader and you live in Jersey and offended.. Stop reading my blog then you dirty jers.

Couldn't help but Laugh

I couldn't hold back my laughter as i was in taking my 93rd of the year. The guy next to me(damn that middle staller) was making explosions out of his ass so horrifying there is a good possibility he went to Taco Bell, White Castle or both for lunch today. After the second explosion I let out a little laugh that i know he heard.

Monster

I just annihilated the bathroom, it was much needed. I got the monster dump out that has been brewing inside for a couple days. 92 was a powerful bomb

He Was a Fighter

Number 91 was a fighter, he just didn't want to come out. I was grabbing onto to the Rails in the stalls, lifting my legs up in the air and pushing with all my might. Finally after some interesting tactics I was able to plop out number 91.

For 90 I thougt a live action post would be appropiate

Always seem to stay longer when i have the option to surf the web and sit on a toilet

Monday Trips

Monday trips are always the worst of the week, they are usually in result of food and beer from the weekend.. Most of the time they are explosions from my ass (like 89 just was), they smell awful, and they hurt. Still nothing like freaking some one out when they walk into the bathroom and they hear the sounds echoing throughout the men's room.

Deuce Deuce

2 spot again here (87 and 88), i say Deuce deuce because one of them has a very good chance in being direct result from the 22 ounce i Enjoyed last night while I watched the ROYAL RUMBLE!!!!!

Disappointed

A lil disappointed on how i ended this month, finished off weak with only one yesterday dn now only my second toady... Oh well here is number 86th.. Just short of the 90 i need per month to ensure 1,000 for the year.

Salute to me

I just passed my 85th of the year after numerous bed farts that shook the bed. However as i go for the 85th time i wanna take a shout out to my self since i was born in '85... CUZ I'M DAN AND I'M...... AWESOME!!!!

Smooth Release

Number 84 was a nice smooth release from the anus.. IT came out smooth and didn't hurt a bit... man i wish all my trips were like that... Smooth and easy

Spokes

I really dont have much to say about my 83rd... I do want to mention that has nothing to do about d town... I was driving home and i saw a Honda Civic with spokes on the car... A freaking Civic with spokes... ha ha wat a loser.

Another as it happens... 82... Surfing the web and dtown just go together

81

"Just Took A Mean Dump"

Still one of my favorite things to say, what does it even mean?

Like ClockWork

* a lil late on this one

It is like clockwork, it seems like i am always taking a trip to d town right around 8 AM.. Number 80 proves this point!

Janitor Guy

It seems like every time i am taking a trip at work the dumb Janitor comes in banging on the stalls, trying to get into my even though i make noise with the toilet paper so he knows some one is in their and just making a damn ruckus. Its like this d0bag knows when i go, its about every other day, if he was as cool as the Janitor in Scrubs i wouldn't mind it... but he is not.

79

Two For Ones

That title makes me want to go to Chili's for two for ones... As a matter of fact my 77 and 78th were like i just ate from Chili's, and i didn't... weird

Running Late

I was running late to get out of my apartment, i was putting my shoes on then all of a sudden i was like uh oh!!! i was like where the hell did this come from, so i didn't even tie my shoes i ran into the bathroom and out came sneaky lil 76...

Also just as an FYI - tying your shoes while dumping is fun

3/4 Of a Century

75.. Almost to a hundred, i thought i was going to reach 100 in this month, looks like its not going to happen... but never count Da Mayor out

Aint Nuttin But a G Thang

1..2...3 and to the 4, Number 74 almost fell to the floor. So i am ready to post this Entrant, so back on up.. Cuz you know i like to rip Trips up!!!

Sanction Me

If you don't like this blog You know what you should do? You should sanction me. Sanction me with your army. Oh!! Wait a minute! You don't have an army! I guess that means you need to shut the fuck up

7 to the 3

All in Balls Out

If you think about it that statement really does describe going to D-Town... or maybe it should be be.. All out Balls in??

72

Horrifying

The sounds the emulated from my 70 and 71st were horrifying. Still feeling the aftermath of a fantastic weekend in the great neighbor to the north. The sounds i discuss here remind of the sounds from that rest area in upstate NY, that moment will always be etched into my brain, it was by far the most horrifying moment of my life, OH the memories!

They Keep on Coming

69!!! ha ha that is all...

Red Toilet Paper

68 and my ass is full of blood, montreal was da shit though, no pun intended

Keep the Disgustingness coming

67 now, and the are starting to really hurt... but it was deftly worth it

PowerBombed

4 more trips to dtown now at 66... and they were all disgusting smelly and Strong... the aftermath of an awesome trip to Montreal

Dtown Montreal

61MONTREAl... USA THATS HOW WE DUMP 61 and 62

60... Dtown with the door open in Montreal

Ontario Style

59 is here and this is now 2 out of three toilets in the Gariepy household that i went to town in! Expect more as the beer flows more easily over the next two days.

FINALLY!

After months of waiting it has finally happened, i have taken a dump in another country!!! I am in Canada and i have taken my 58th trip of the year took a while but i squeezed it out!!!!

57... On my way to Canada couldn't make it

dumptown is now a wendyS and I didn't even eat any yet

I lied

Well i just had my 56th and i am still in NY, maybe this will be my last on US soil until Sunday?

May or May Not

As i take my 55th trip of the year i think this may or may not be my last dump on US soil for a couple of days, as i head north to CANADA.

And i know some people might think, hey Dan you are leaving your throne in Dump Town, and to this i laugh. See Dump Town is not just here in NY, but it is everywhere, it is every toilet on the great planet that we call Earth. And for those who are not fortunate to be able to dump in toilets well then Dump Town is a Birds Nest, a Paper Bag, A pile of Dump, a hole in the ground, a tombstone, a back, etc. etc. See Dump Town is where ever you make however there can only be one Mayor and that is I... That IS I!

Five Four

It has smelled like death all day in the bathroom here at work.... and no its not because some one challenged my rule of D-Town and i had to off em... but that would be the case if they did

Nothing Worse

Nothing worse then when you gotta listen to three dudes go to dump town while you try to pee.
That's what this one guy had to do as the stalls were full here. I came out with the best trip of course and it was my 53rd of the year. Actually i don't think the guy even peed he heard the sounds from the stalls and ran outta there as fast as he could.

Slap

Don't know why but in the middle of my 52nd trip to d-town i thought it would be cool to slap my thigh, so i was slapping my thigh making the sound of a hand slapping skin and of course some one walked into the bathroom, hope they didn't think anything weird was going on, just da mayor slapping his thigh.

I'm Hardcore Yo!

If any one was to ever challenge me to my throne in D-Town, i swear to god i would sew their asshole close and keep feeding them and feeding them and feeding them!


51 Son!

Liquid Satisfaction

Do i need to say any more about my 50th? I think not..

T.P.

I hate when my trips use up the last of the Toilet Paper like my 49th did, that means i got to change it, to me it seems like its a womens job to do... i'm just sayin'

I hope the Toliets in Montreal can Handle me...

If my dumps in montreal are any bit like my 48th, then the maritime hotel is in trouble.

Gross

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Xplosion

There was an explosion in the bathroom earlier, yes it was my nasty 46th trip of the year... stay tuned just finished lunch got that feeling...

I Have a Dream

As most people i know are off today i am stuck at work. AS the country celebrates MLK Day, i say


I HAVE A DREAM! A dream that one day i will reach 1,000 trips to d-town for the year, i currently am at 45.

2 spot

it has been a while since i been near a computer... dumped 2 times... proud to say my 44th dump was in a very Irish bar... my 45th was straight up nasty!!!.. all liquid!!!

On the 7th Day

On the 7th day GOD created Dump Town, and he said one day there will be a leader of this place, a man who is such a fantastic dumper that people will follow his every movement, LET THERE BE LIGHT, LET THERE BE DUMPTOWN, LET THERE BE Dan DA MAYOR


43!

CHINA!

The 42nd dump has an international feel to it, don't really eat Chinese food often but did last night and 42 is a direct result of it.

Busy Busy

It was busy in D-town as i took my 41 st trip. Lots of people in and out of the bathroom, 4 people in and out of stalls... Just want everyone to know that i am still da MAYOR of this town!

Fun Fact

As i hit my 40Th dump of the year i feel i should share a fun fact with all my loyal readers


I have taken 40 dumps yes but only on 4 different toilets!!!!

My Apartment Toilet

2 Toilets at work

And one dump on meg's Aunt's upstairs toilet

Crazy right!!!!!!

Pants Location

39 had me thinking, Where do most people keep their pants while taking the trip to d town, I noticed when i am home i throw em down to my ankles, but when at work i keep them up near knees. However today i was wearing my snug pants so i no other choice but to throw em to the ankles to make for some necessary breathing room.

Where do all y'all keep your pants

Shout out to the K-MAN

My back was hurting a lil bit while i was partaking in number 38, then i thought of the k-man and when we were in freshman year he actually hurt his back taking a massive dump.

Mario Number 1

I am on Bowers' castle on the 8th level of the NEW Super Mario Bros Wii and then all of a sudden boooommmmmm number 37 hits.

Three Six MAFIA!

36th trip of the year. Starting to wonder how much I am going to get in the month?

Right Through Me

Not even two minutes after i took my last bite of my dinner (piergogis and stuffing) my 35th dizzump of the year was shot out of me, and yes it was gross

Thank's a lot moron.

Got to listen to a running faucet while i was taking my 34th trip of the year. Too bad the idiot who left the faucet running didn't realise it doesn't help when you are going number 2.

Salute to my DAD!

33rd dump of the year. My dad worked at Ladder 33 of the FDNY for 25+ years. Here is a salute to him, if it wasn't for you there would be no D- town blog.


Was a little late on this one, number 34 has already happened and the post will directly follow this.

Back To Normal... FOR NOW

32 felt more normal today, god yesterday was awful.. To all my fans out there sorry if i don't post alot today i just cant handle another day like yesterday, 32 came out much smoother and it didnt hurt to wipe

Double Edge Sword

Well i did it it took, 4 years but i matched my record of 7 dumps in one day. Now 31 makes me happy to match the record but man my ass is on fire and i dont think i can wipe again, starting to get bloody.

1 shy

I am at 6 for the day, 30 for the year. 6 is one shy of my record of 7 for one day.. Stay tuned folks i might make it seven today.

PUSH

Had to push number 29 out, it was rough, if i was at home i prolly would've taken my shirt off like George Costanza.

The Fake Out

Back With number 28.. i know so soon! My stomach/ass is not in a good state today.

However i would like to talk about what happens when you walk into the work bathroom and some one is there, i like to go to the urinal and either pee or pretend to then when they person leaves, do a 180 and hop into the stall. Works 60 percent of the time.. all the time.

Ass of Fire

Not a good feeling right now, Stomach is acting up and i just finished my third trip today (27th overall) and its not even noon. My ass is on fire for sure and i dont think i am done for the day... DAMN YOU Rolling Rock

Reverse?

I had a interesting thought pop in my head while i was in the middle of 26. We all know what a blumpkin is... but say a girl is going to d-town and at the same time goes to town on a dong... is that a reverse blumpkin? I think so!

Three S's

Shit Shower Shave.. Nothing better for 25 then the three S's

A little Late

I am a little late on number 24, as i had some company here today to watch some football. No one even knew i went to poo. Man sometimes i love being a quick dumper.

It Stinks

Meg came into the bathroom during number 23, her comment was it stinks in here, i told her to shut it.

Football Sunday

22.... A Pre Football trip... NOW PLAYOFF football

The Green Can

Thank you Rolling Rock for being the main factor for number 21... Expect more Rolling Rock dumps as i purchased a Rolling Rock 30 pack last night.

DK

Milestone.. First as it happens post... 20

My ipod touch wouldnt let me write in the body just the Title... but none the less it was a milestone event indeed.

Cleveland

People be thinking i am from cleveland the way i keep dropping these Browns off at the super bowl.

19!

Smooth

To Describe number 18.. I gotta use the word smooth, came out in a smooth nice easy drop. Gotta love smooth visits to D-town

17

D-Town The Town that never sleeps

W.W.D.D.

16 made me think of a new Acronym, W.W.D.D. (What would Danny Do?) Next time you partake in a trip to D-town stop and take a minute to think What Would Danny Do?

SPLASH

Number 15 is a great example to one of the reason why they call me splash: I be making mad splashes in the toliet son!

Sneak Attack

Was doing some dishes this morning minding my own biz... then OH MY! here comes number 14. Check back later for 15.

Lucky Number 13

Nothing special to report about this trip, just your average post lunch dizzzump.

However i did want to mention one thing that i always do while i take the trip to d-town and that is dig for gold.. I love picking my nose while dumping, its just something great and i advise every one to do the same if they don't already.

Stubborn Lil Bastard

Number 12 was a stubborn bastard i might say, but after some hard work by me number 12 was where it belonged. Engulfed in Yellow Water.

Short and Sweet

Number 11 was quick and to the point, now on with my day

False Alarm

Had my first false alarm of the year.. Just gas.. Still stuck on 10 but have a feeling 11 is coming soon.

TEN!

Number 10 - A Pre Breakfast Trip to start the day off right

Middle Stallers

9 comes with big dissatifaction. Things were going great in my post lunch trip to d town, it was going a little bit longer then my trips usally take and that turned out to be devestating. The stalls in my work have three stalls, WHY sit in the middle stall if you don't have to.. Damn Middle stallers!

7 and 8

Hey Guys back again with 7 and 8 .

7 was one i know we all have experienced numerous times in our lives. It was about 5 30 am and i was awaken and i had a feeling in my stomach that said Oh No! get up now! So i did and number 7 of the year was born!

8 was my first work trip on the year!

Correction

correction on the 2nd i only went once which would make my total 6

Days 1-3

Since this is the first entry to the D-town Blog, let me introduce my self. I am Dan King aka Danny, Kinger Splash, King, etc. If you know me then you know I am a professional Dumper. I take numerous dumps a day and even once called the Health Center at my College to see why i have gone 17 times in a three day period, needless to say they hung up on me. This blog will consist of me tracking how many times i go number 2 in 2010. It will be fun and there will be many posts. Some just saying D-town # 42 and the date, and some going into to more detail Ex. Totally just dropped a liquid one, stay out of the b-room for at least 10 minutes. You get the gist. So to everyone following the D-Town Train hop on and enjoy the Ride.

To sum up January 1-3
I went 6 times, which is light for me. Three times on the first (all before 1 pm) and twice the next two days, which might seem normal for many but odd to me.

check back later for dumps number 7 and 8.

King