All alone

So back in da city office for the mayor but I am all alone so I don't gotta worry about how long I take in my office he'll I can stay here all day.. 338

Apple Drink

Did i have apple drink last night and not even know my poop was green for number 337??... ITS GREEN!!!!

Research

D town not only is a place to take dumps and relax u can also do some serious research here and I took full advantage of this during 336

Weigh

So if you took all of my dumps, including the most recent 335, and put them together on a scale how much do you think it would weigh? Do you think it would be the largest collection of human crap ever? I think it would way over a ton!

Who wants to suck my ass???

How much money would u have to get in order to suck the mayor's distinguished ass?? Oh and of course the ass sucking would have to take place in the dead of the night and you couldn't start until their was an announcement that said "Let the ass sucking commence"... 334

All about 3

D Town is feeling the number three big time right now, not only is this dump number 333 but it is also the 3rd trip today... It's the little things like this that make dumptown the best place in the world

A thought

I am thinking here as a middle staller come next to me during 332 that yes middle staller suck but they do get to sit next to the best dumper in the world and take a dump next to him.. I mean that is a damn honor indeed.. However if I ever figure out who the habitual middle staller is let's just say stunners will be dished out

Nod of Approval

I gave my self a slight nod of approval after 331, damn was that one good smelling dump.

Almost lost a contact

Was pushing and squeezing and fighting so hard during 330 that I almost lost my left contact ... I gotta be careful Dumptown can be a dangerous place

Advice

Da Mayor wants to give back here for 329... He want to remind his readers to make sure to check your poop from time to time not only is it encouraging to see an A+ dump in the ole throne but it can let u know if you are sick or something is wrong I suggest googling feces colors to see if u might need to go to the doc

Should be it

So I think I finally got the weekend out of me (and tonight's dinner as well) lets hope my ass and stomach settle... 328

Shop

Hey dtownaholics look for the new D-Town shop to be available later this year... Just thought of this while taking number 327.. Yes I am a genius

Da Goal

One of da mayor's many goals is to have a non toilet dump I wanna shit some where besides a toilet bowl... This will happen folks trust me it's just not happening here for number 326

Celebrity post

Hey everyone it's Maroon Man here live from the same stall as Da Mayor as he pushes out number 325... Da mayor has been kinda enough to let me make this post and remember bad guys beware Maroon Man could be lurking

Pre Shower

A pre Shower dump to start the day off right, And yes I did wipe before i got in the shower... 324

Closing the door

I really do not see the need to close the door when dumping, it should be something that everyone in the world is subject to. I am the mayor and a sex symbol in 38 out of 50 states (soon to be 39). At work or if I have company be aware the door will be open... 323

Extreme

322 was an extreme trip to d town... Kinda ironic because of the PPV extreme rules that is on tonight

Hot sauce

321... Egg whites and hot sauce for breakfast then as usual trip to dump town

Mom and dad

Here u go mom and dad I left number 320 in the toilet and it smells awesome

The truth

Some co workers of mine didn't believe that I sometimes go 4 or five times a day to the bathroom I almost showed them this blog but decided this is not really work place kinda stuff.. 319

Cash over bitches

Da Mayor follows this theory and he also follows Dumps over bitches as well.. 318

Three hundred and seventeen

Yep I'm back for another trip to dtown.. I was thinking as mayor I should come up with a national defecation day where the whole world can celebrate their trips to my town.. Hmmmm what day should I choose?

DRAFT!!!

With the 316th pick in the NDL (National Dumping League) draft, Da Mayor selects... Explosive Dump

Sneezing and dumping

It makes for an awkward combo especially when they both come out at the exact same time.. 315

ATTACK!!!!

Just released a brutal attack on the middle staller next to me during 314, that was full of vicious farts and devastating bomb drops.. Poor sap never saw it coming but he deserves it for choosing the middle stall over the more reasonable end stalls

Gave it all he got

Number 313 fought me to the bitter end... He did not want to come out, he was a solider and a fighter but in the end the mayor always wins the battle

Pre greek dump

The company is heading over to a Greek restaurant for the remainder of the day... I better get 312 in now

Hey Baby

Hey baby stop selling weed u got ur whole future ahead of you... 311

Gross

So when u dump as much as I do gross things are bound to happen.. I am on the toilet at work for number 310 and it is an auto flushing toilet... So I sit down and I shuffle a little and the sensor thinks I got up so it flushes.. Sound harmless right.. Well the toilet was a little backed up from excess toilet paper (could ve been my fault not sure) and the water rose all the way to the top and hit my butt cheeks... It was horrifying

My favorite

I know all my readers prolly wonder and people ask me all the tome what my favorite type of dump is and I do love them all since I da mayor... The explosion style dump holds a special place in my heart just because it generates the best reaction from people to happen to be I'm striking distance... 309 was not an explosion

Da Mayor Keep Out

I am working with the graphics department to make me a gangsta ass sign that says this... It's gonna change the work place restroom forever... 308

Go back in time

Man I would love to take dump number 307 here and bag it up and go back to 2007 and throw the bag of shit right in that bag of shit Sean Tracey's face... Wild west for life

Super Kick

It feels like someone just super kicked my asshole during 306... I thought HBK retired????

Dusty Bloodstone

I totally just Dusty Bloodstoned the bathroom for number 305... If u know good ole Dusty B then u know I totally devastated this bathroom and don't even give two shits about it

Nothing Sexier

There is nothing sexier then a Mayor sitting on his porcelain throne, naked taking his 304th dump of the year... And that is a fact

Showing me her hand

Meg decided to come into the bathroom to show me her cut on her hand while i was taking number 303, it was this decision that she immediately regretted b/c of the overwhelming smell coming from my office

Long

It felt like i was pooping for "20 innings" for number 302, was on the throne for a while

Plop Plop Plop

Thats what 301 was like three plops of turd nuggets... plop a nugget, plop a nugget, plop a nugget... wipe

There is....

Only one word to describe number 300..... EPIC!!!

Not normal Friday

It feels like a Monday for my ass.. It is prolly very confused because it usually gets a break on Fridays and Saturdays any way here is 299

Hockey shits on baseball

I am taking number 298 and making it a public service announcement that it's NHL playoff time... Best sports time of the year... No one gives a shot about April baseball

297

Not much to say but that I am glad I am leaving this apartment cuz it will smell like 297 for a while.

closing in

296... Getting closer to another milestone... Expect da mayor to be out preparing this weekend... U just might see him in a bathroom near u

The three L's

So yeah number 295 deftly falls under the three L's... Loud, long and lethal

Fiber

I always here that people should add more Fiber to there diets, imagine if the Mayor added more Fiber to his diet, I would be crapping ten times a day... That might sound like something right up my alley but trust me, my ass can not handle ten dumps a day even though I am Da Mayor.... 294

I feel like Finch

Conducting business while I crap... Well I guess I am da mayor.. 293

Shoot first ask questions later

This is how da mayor lives his life.. I shoot turd bullets into toilets first then if need be I ask questions... 292

Motor Boating Son of A Bitch

Doing the motor boat sounds with mouth as I take number 291, imagine actually motor boating a pair of boobs while shitting down throats

Becoming a habit

So it's pretty much a given now a days when I crap at work I spend some extra time playing solitaire on my I touch.. It's a great way to escape from work like I am doing for 290

Big wigs

The big wigs were in the bathroom chatting it up while I was taking number 289... I kept very still and quite cuz I didn't want them to disturb the mayor in action... Plus the are known to talk to people when they dump.. No need to talk to a CEO while visiting dump town

288 sure feels great

Yep all is well in dtown another day in the office for your mayor

Bathroom is fucked

What the hell is going on here at the men's bathroom here at work u got water all over the floor from a over flooded toilet and a urinal out of order that smells like old tuna fish cuz it won't flush so the piss is just sitting in it.. I just want to come into the bathroom and relax for number 287, where is that fuck head janitor now

Red x 2

Got the red dumps and the red snot for number 286..

Back in the swing of things

Back to work after a nice vacation, things do not change, right back to morning dumps.. 285

DO NOT GO IN THERE!

WOOOOOO!!!!! number 284

WebCam?

Taking 283 i thought how awesome would it be if i had a camera in my bathroom so all my readers could actually see the mayor in action, would be groundbreaking indeed

2 dumps two different states

So i pooped in both Florida and New York today for numbers 281 and 282, another major achievement for da MaYoR

Early flight early dump

Up bright and early for the flight back to new York... Not as hung over as last year but still laid a classic beer dump for number 280

Babies came in handy

So we were getting ready to head out on our last night in Florida when one of the babies shit her diaper so I got to sneak off and lay out number 279.. Nice work kid

Bill Brasky!!!!

His poop was considered currency in Argentina...278 would deftly not be cuz dat ish was gross

The beer is catching up

So yeah all the beer I've been consuming this week on vacation is paying me back with another furious and painful dump.. 277

Banana hamocks

276 was almost as gross as all the banana hammocks I saw on the beach yesterday... I am scarred for life

Breakfast in and breakfast out

As quick as I ate breakfast it came out even quicker for number 275

Good morning Dump Town

Today is gonna be a good day after a real solid trip for number 274... Oh and by the way I had to pull up my pants and run into the other room and get tissues to wipe my ass yesterday but apparently there was tp behind the seat on the toilet the entire time.. Oh well makes for a good D town story

Not good

273 and no toilet paper and Meg is no where in sight. Not sure what to do will let everyone know next time

Port o pong

After A long day of playing beer pong in the pool and chilling in the hot tub time machine I laid out number 272

My own lil cave

271.. It nice that in this vacation house here in sunny Florida I have my own bathroom nestled in the back so I can escape and take my patent kinger dumps

Where is Dan?

He is prolly pooping... Meg knows me so well, I was taking dump number 270

Chlorine enhanced

Number 269 is deftly chlorine enhanced... So it actually smells decent

Following me in

So Roxie followed me into the bathroom for number 268, I told her I don't think u can handle being in the presence of the mayor... FYI Roxie is a dog

Status

In the middle of a splashful number 267... After this I am meeting with the governor of Florida to get my sex symbol status in the state renewed, this should be easy!!!

Sunshine state

266 chillin in Florida will be here for the next week... Readers don't worry I got wifi

Two airports

Two airports two dumps LGA and Miami airport I dropped down 264 and 265

If ya smellllllll what the mayor is cookin'

Well if you did smell it then u smelled number 263, which was a regular old beer dump. Man i love the smell of beer dumps in the morning.

Here you go Schiff

So a while back a friend of D-Town told me i should make a post about the awkardness and toughness of crapping with a Bonor.. well it happened this morning for 262 and i have to say it is very awkawrd especially when you gotta pee. It wasn't what a person should be doing with morning wood.

Banter thoughts

So apparently this guy walked into the stall while a regular reader of the blog, toad was taking a dump and I got to thinking what whould I do if that happened to me... Simple I would say "Welcome dump town motha fucka, I am ur motha fucking mayor... 261

Gangsta walk

I did my gangsta walk into the stall and laid down a fresh number 260

I am ending the blog

The blog is over....











APRIL'S FOOLS.... 259